Welcome, I am glad you dropped by, in this place we will talk about the limitless potential we are when we manage to hear and see beyond the mental traffic that distracts us from the now!
Beyond fear and doubt there is a place of understanding, and limitless wisdom. Before the alarming mental noise; there is a quiet place where wisdom and common sense constantly flow, and it is available to us if we look in that direction.
How to start that process?
Have you noticed that we are always thinking? Probably not, because it is so naturally a part of us, that we do it unconsciously; the same as breathing. Take a moment to THINK about it: our mind is constantly generating new thoughts, new ideas. The sum of all mental activity we call: THOUGHT, or our capacity to think.
What does a mind do? The mind generates mental activity, all kinds of mental activities. Can you picture your mind at work? It may sound simple and unimportant but when we look at it a little bit closer; mental activity is everything because for humans, there is nothing without mental activity.
“One thought at a time, one thought at a time is all we do, one thought at a time is how the mind works.” ER
Our mind generates many thought forms: ideas, memories, past, future, projections, perceptions, interpretations, judgments, what ifs, regrets, I will be happy when….etc., etc.
It is easy to get lost in thought, and all of us get lost in thought daily, but we always return to base line. It does not matter how unclear and agitated our mind gets, we always return to clear mind, and well-being in the present moment.
Can you see how your mind works? Can you see how often you get lost in thought? …and can you see that you always return to being fully present, and feeling peaceful in the now?
Paul wrote “when I was a child, I used to speak as a child, to think as a child, to speak as a child; but now that I have become a grown up, I have done away with the childish traits.”
As children we had certain needs (attachment and authenticity needs). These are known as non-negotiable needs. Those needs were real, and we did all that we could to get those needs met. You got those needs met one way or another, and you are here today. Sure, we may have some regrets about things we did or did not do, some shame about things we did or did not do to get those needs met, but we survived, and are here now. The good thing is that we survived those “growing fires” and today our needs have changed.
The child needs to be connected (survival), and needs to feel free to express her/his authentic self (authenticity). These seem to be two basic (core) needs of all human beings.
Can you see how this is true for yourself today, and for other members of your family?
Since we are designed to survive if these two basic needs are not met in healthy ways, we are hard wired to gets these needs meet in any way possible.
As we grow and gain new resources: physically, intellectually, financially, socially, and mentally our needs change.
There was a time when we thought and felt that we needed attention, affection, and external affirmation to be OK. Because of that belief we constantly looked for others approval in order to avoid rejection, and it is possible that we stretched and turned into a pretzel in order to get the validation we believed we needed in order to survive.
I know I did it: I became mr. nice guy, and extremely serious, and responsible at a young age. Did you believe that you needed external approval to be OK? How did you try to get that approval?
What is a belief? “A belief is the acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists” is what a google search will offer. Jack Pransky in his book “Somebody should have told us” (CCB 2005-2011) states that “a belief is a thought that over time gains strength because other thoughts are attached that support that idea.”
Take a moment to remember some of the beliefs you had about your basic needs, and how you got those needs met.
The challenge sometimes is that even though we are not “children” any more, we still hang onto the traits of a child because we believe the old stories the brain keeps replaying. The inner narrator (back seat driver) in our heads keeps telling us that we need to get attention, affection, affirmation, or approval from external sources in order to be OK.
Yes, it is true that as a child you needed to get those needs met, whether you got it in healthy or unhealthy ways. How you got it is not meaningful any more, you survived childhood and you are here today. You are not a child anymore, and it is time to consider doing away with the child -like behaviors, as they do not serve you today. You have different resources now.
The inner inner narrator will continue to repeat old stories in an attempt to keep you safe. The only problem is that the narrator is repeating old stories and predicting future possible outcomes as if you were still a child; as if you were living in the past. The inner narrator does not know what you are capable of today.
Back to where we started, have you noticed that we are always thinking? Our capacity to think (the fascinating creative power of imagination) makes up stories, those stories are brought up to life by our nervous system, and we experience those ideas as vivid reality, supported by the felt sensation we call feelings.
Yes, your capacity to think (the creative power of your beliefs and understanding how the mind works) shapes your perceptions, and your perceptions create your life experience.
Can you imagine seeing your thinking in action?
Yes, I know thought is invisible (just like the wind is), but can you see how “your capacity to make up stories, and your taking those stories seriously” has such an outstanding impact on everything you do?
Do you want to learn to see stress, anxiety and despair from a different angle?
You can learn to NOT fear any of your experiences…
See the next article…